Secret Divorce
The life-span of a marriage could be threatened if either of the party is rigid, or myopic in their outlook on life. when either a wife or the husband fails to embrace positive growth, such couples endure or tolerate one another. such marriages, most of the time, experience: unresolved matters, constant argument, lack of mutual respect, no co-operation\unity, murmuring\complaint about everything. in this type of setting, divorce may be the end result. divorce is a terrible experience in the short run. there are lots of secret divorces today in our society, which are as a result of one of the things i have mentioned. what is secret divorce, you may ask? before i answer the question, i want to let you know that the effect of secret divorce is the reason why more men visit guest houses around town, elderly men chase young girls, married women get involved in office romance or go out with other men. Office romance and the like are the effect of secret divorce. Secret divorce is when either the husband or the wife is in a marriage physically without his\her soul. the soul has been transferred, not necessary to another lady\man. it may be transferred to a career, work, hobby or an enterprise as the case may be. As a result of their position in the society, it may lower their rating if they divorce their official wife. Or culturally they may want to maintain their status in their clan or villages. Or as a spiritual head where it is forbidden to divorce, they maintain the marriage. They are out together at public functions, stay under the same roof but are miles apart. While this is going on, the society or relations may not know but the people concerned are aware. It may be that one is rigid, and the other is not patient enough as to help the other see reasons. why there is need to be flexible about certain issues of life.
For flexible about certain issues of life.
For example, in marriage, there is need for growth. Spiritual, intellectual and financial areas are some of the area where grow is necessary. There is need to go for knowledge acquisition that will bring about the desired goal. If one of the parties does not see live that way, it leads to serious disagreement, and operating at the same frequency becomes difficult.
More so, interests differ, and this is capable of causing resentment. Very early in our marriage, I discovered that my husband loves reading. He introduces motivational and self-help books to me. He would buy magazines (both local/foreign) for me. You know what? Initial, I was telling him let me create an enabling environment for you and take good care of the house; I think that I should be alright. I will start reading when I want to go to school. I was merely using the books and magazines as sleeping pills. When I was ready to sleep, I would carry the latest of the magazine and by the time I flipped through them for a while, I would be looking for my pillow. It was that bad. But my husband was not angry with me. He was always telling me that I needed to start reading those books because there were things about life which were not taught in the classroom that I would discover reading those books. The message still did not sink. Through his persistence, god opened my eyes to see that if my husband kept improving himself while I failed to, a time will come when I may not be suitable for him any longer. And I was supported to be a helper a helper suitable for him, if I was to fulfill my purposed as a woman. That was how I came to his self-realization. I am grateful to god and to my husband for his genuine love for me. This article you are reading is one of the benefits of embracing the mindset to grow.
The lesson from this is;
i. we must see to it that we improve our standard of education. If tie permits, age should not be a barrier.
ii. We must be patient with our spouse for whatever change we want them embrace. My husband has been patient with me as I have been making genuine effort to grow. Being rigid is like shooting oneself on the heel. Get education, formal or informal. Embrace a new way of doing things, as question, learn to use the computer, and discover how the internet works. On internet, there are free resources that will bring you to a new realm of life for the best.
Preserve the life and romance of your marriage, be flexible and embrace new knowledge, new ways at putting an end to secret devoice in our society.